It sucks to miss someone, but it is okay. You have to miss sometimes. It is only natural to miss someone or something that has been a big part of your life. Usually people prefer to ignore such feelings because it usually ends up bringing you down and holding you back. But when you start to deal with such feels you learn how battle them. I didn't allow myself to think of the past to think of memories and times; but lately it has caught up with me. Yes, I do miss it all, i miss everything about it. But I cant let my past mess up my present and my future. Especially when you can't do anything about it. For the first time, I don't even think I want to do anything about it. It is fate. Everything happens for a reason. Everything you do, I do, we do, happened for some reason. I don't believe in fate; because I believe it is up to you to act on something in order to make it happen. But now I just get such a rock in my stomach that says no. Instead of being bummed about it, I smile. Doesn't matter how it ended, how it was left, or what really happened, the important thing is that it did. It happened, and it is why I am here today. It is why I am the person I am right now, it is why I am doing what I am doing.
So tonight I will go to bed with a smile. And I will wake up with the same smile I do every morning. I will probably brush my teeth and think of a good memory, and i will continue to smile, because it is all I have left to do. It's all I can do. It's all I want to do.
