Friday, February 17, 2012

Little do we know...

I don't know how I am even going to sum up the past week for you.
Actually only the past 4 days. 
In just 4 days (I can't believe its not even been an entire week) my life has changed 360 degrees. 
On sunday I was on my way to San Diego. I called my dad up to say goodbye and tell him that I loved him before I boarded the plane. Little did I know that about 3 hours later when I was making my transfer at heathrow in London, I would be collapsing by the news I had just received about him. 
On Sunday afternoon at 5:47 pm, February 12th, I found out that my father had been living a double life with another woman and supposedly two other boys. 
5:48 pm, I hung up the phone with my father and probably gave out the biggest heartbreaking scream heathrow had ever heard.
My world was shattered. My heart was not only broken but completely shattered in to a million pieces. 
I can never explain the feeling. I don't even know where to begin to describe it.

Four days later, my parents are divorced, my dad has said his goodbye and I have said mine. 
Today as I am sitting here typing this  I feel completely numb. 
And everybody that knows me, know that I am a rather emotional and charismatic  individual. So for me to not feel anything, has never happened before. 
But what this has made me realize is that so much can happen and so much can change. When you least expect it. Little did I know when I hung up the phone before boarding my flight that I would be hating my father in just a few hours. 
I am not going to sit here and tell you my life story. I am not writing this for you to pity me. 
I am writing this because  I want people to go to bed tonight and be grateful for the people they have in their life. Because I may have had a dad walk out on me and my family this week. I may not have a home, I may not have any money and I may not have a plan and a very confused future. And I may not have a male role model to support me through my future mistakes. But I do have some amazing people in my life who has been supporting me everyday. I have been so amazed by all my friends,
family friends, my sisters, my mother and Henrik, how much you are all supporting me through this. I am amazed by the guidance and confidence you have all giving me, to push forward.

People always says that it is your family that always stays and who will love you no matter what, it is friends that come and go. Well I guess not. 
When my dad left, all my friends all over the world walked in and has shown me their love and confidence in me. 

So tonight when you go to bed,
Be grateful for your life. 
Be grateful for the people you meet. 
Because you will be amazed by the people who will stand by your side in the end of the day. 

Thank you guys for making me strong, thank you for making me grow, and thank you for giving me the confidence to move forward. It is thanks to all of you, why I am not a wreck today. It's only day four, and I am not angry anymore, I am not sad, I am not really anything. I may not be happy, but I am smiling! and that is thanks to all of you incredible people in my life, who are giving me a reason to SMILE. Tomorrow, day 5, I may even be laughing again! :)

Forever and always your,