Monday, September 27, 2010

In this twisted world

Hi alot of things are happening right now, which means I have a lot of things to tell you. Things that I would only tell you, things I should only tell you and things I just don't tell anybody else. You are here, but yet a thousand miles away. I want to say I miss you, but somewhere inside me I don't. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't have time. I wish you could come and see my world and approve. Cause on some sad level it all has to do with the approval. I am so proud of you. If you only knew. You should be proud of me too, if you only knew. I hate that I can't just call you and tell you what happened. I hate that you are not the first to find out. I haven't thought much of it until a news I found out today. Where I wanted to just call and brag to you with my happiness. Because it is what I always do. Because on some level it would make you happy and proud of yourself, because on some twisted level it was influenced by you, just like everything else I do. But some part of me hesitated of the thought of you not caring. I know you care. I know deep down inside you want to know that I am happy. But then at the same time you are a frightened it will bring us close again. I am too. But point proven many times, we've always been close. Whether we want to or not. Because it is the only thing we know. So deal with it. Because I am & I miss my best friend.